Forgotten God

"I think the fear of God failing us leads us to "cover for God." This means we ask for less, expect less, and are satisfied with less because we are afraid to ask for or expect more. We even convince ourselves that we don't want more--that we have all the "God" we need or could want. I can't imagine how much it pains God to see His children hold back from relationship with the Holy Spirit out of fear that He won't come through. How much it grieves Him to watch His children ignore the promises He's made throughout Scripture due to fear that those promises won't be kept! Empowering His children with the strength of the Holy Spirit is something the Father wants to do. It's not something that we have to talk Him into. He genuinely wants to see us walk in His strength." -Francis Chan, "Forgotten God"

Have you ever felt a responsibility to "cover for God"? I have. Many times. It has most definitely lead me to expecting less from God. All those promises made to us in the Word of God regarding provision, strength, peace, and a future.

Even promises God has made me personally. I have found myself questioning the very truths that have brought me where I am. Just covering for God in case I heard Him wrong the first 103 times.

TRUTH:
*Driven by the Lord to make a difference physically, emotionally, and spiritually in the country of Haiti.
*Moved to dedicate my life and knowledge to improving the body through medicine and nursing.
*Impacted by the world outside my own causing a shift of my whole heart.

FICTION:
*God has already done so much. I'd be selfish if I asked for more information.
*I just have to wait.
*You are limited by your lack of knowledge.

My God, please do not allow the devil to continue to plant these thoughts into my mind. I refuse to be filled by anything that is not of You. Convict me of that which is not. God, I want the gift of the Holy Spirit to be upon me. I want to actively live out the life of a person who is consumed by Your Spirit. To edify who You are in the church and in the lives of those around me. I never want to be complacent with our relationship. God, draw me closer. Help me take steps closer to You. God, remember me as a woman chasing Your very heart. I know that You will come through, God. I know. Grant me strength as I pursue Your plans for Haiti and the rest of my life...