Monday, October 26, 2009

Perfect timing. . .

Lie down in green pastures of Peace. Learn to unwind whenever possible, resting in the Presence of your Shepherd. This electronic age keeps My children "wired" much of the time, too tense to find Me in the midst of their moments. I built into your very being the need for rest. How twisted the world has become when people feel guilty about meeting this basic need! How much time and energy they waste by being always on the go, rather than taking time to seek My direction for their lives.
I have called you to walk with Me down paths of Peace. I want you to blaze a trail for others who desire to live in My peaceful Presence. I have chosen you less for your strengths than for your weaknesses, which amplify your need for Me. Depend on Me more and more, and I will shower Peace on all your paths.
-Sarah Young

This is evidence of God's handiwork. On October 24th, I was just very tired, and feeling very out of Peace. I'm sure you know how that feels. Anyway, if this encourages/strengthens anyone else out there, it's totally worth posting.

xoxo

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Devotion

October 21

To live in My presence consistently, you must expose and expel your rebellious tendencies. When something interferes with your plans or desires, you tend to resent the interference. Try to become aware of each resentment, however petty it may seem. Don't push those unpleasant feelings down; instead, let them come to the surface where you can deal with them. Ask My Spirit to increase your awareness of resentful feelings. Bring them boldly into the Light of My Presence, so that I can free you from them.

The ultimate solution to rebellious tendencies is submission to My authority over you. Intellectually you rejoice in My sovereignty, without which the world would be a terrifying place. But when my sovereign will encroaches on your little domain of control, you often react with telltale resentment. (italics mine.)

The best response to losses or thwarted hopes is praise: The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Remember that all good things- your possessions, your family and friends, your health and abilities, your time- are gifts from Me. Instead of feeling entitled to all these blessings, respond to them with gratitude. Be prepared to let go of anything I take from you, but never let go of My hand!

Psalm 139:23-24, "Search me thoroughly, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

1 Peter 5:6, "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you."

I always enjoy reading these mini devotions out of Sarah Young's book Jesus Calling. They always challenge me to view the Lord a little differently. She set out to write down what the Lord spoke to her heart for a solid year. And these mini devotions are what He spoke to her. When I read these, it's like the Lord's presence is flowing right off the pages and words in the book. I am so thankful for God's faithfulness and His riches in mercy and grace.

One thing I realized while I was in El Salvador is that when the Lord is speaking to my heart, I know how intimate His presence is in me. At first, you just want to be able to share the words He pours into your heart with the nationals, but a guy on our team, Levi, made a very excellent statement. He said, "When God is speaking to our hearts in our language, He is also speaking to their hearts in their own language." Simple statement, but if you meditate on that, how incredibly powerful is it?

It was literally a moment where you could understand for a few seconds how 'everywhere' the Lord is. He is not just with you, or in your town, or state. Not even just in your own country. He is as intimate with a person in Sri Lanka RIGHT NOW as He is in you. That, my friends, is incredible, unexplainable, powerful, and straight up truth.

I italicized a sentence in the devotional that really made me think. When God's Holy Spirit encroaches on my little domain. . . I never want to respond with even a hint of resentment or rebellion.

God, create in me a clean and pure heart. Renew my spirit to be in tune with Yours. Open my eyes to the things around me and help me be open to the leading of Your Spirit. Speak to me through the sun, flowers, and rain. Extend my territory so that I may reach others and use my voice, mind, and body to pour into others your living truth. Thank You for Your chastisement. Thank You for loving me. So much so, that You would place a check in my spirit when You want me to learn something new or change something old. Oh, how I love You. ~Amen

xoxo

Sunday, October 11, 2009

It truly is ALL about Him

This morning, (early afternoon), I am still laying in bed. It's so cold in my parent's house right now, and I don't have the strength to fight the chills! ;-) I've been meaning to update my blog, too. I've been playing catch up reading everyone else's, and it made me realize that I just really need to let people know what the latest is in my life.

School! Oh my goodness, I never ever realized how much time my school would demand from me. I thought the farther along I got in Nursing School, the easier it would be to manage my time. But, I was deceived. Nah, It is going okay. I am really struggling with my main nursing content right now. I'm praying for more diligence and wisdom in spending my time so I can really focus on studying. I am also praying for a better attitude about studying. The Lord called me to be a nurse. I am doing this for Him, and thanking Him for my personal love for the well being of health for others. I am also making a major lifestyle change so that I, myself, may be in better health very soon.

Church! I struggled there for a while about whether to return to James River in Springfield, MO after I returned from El Salvador. I was hindered by how small I was and how little I could do in such a huge church. But then God opened my eyes through a single picture from the country of Haiti, and He spoke to my spirit, "This is exactly were I want you to be. I have placed you here for a purpose. You are part of this puzzle for Haiti at James River Church." So I stayed, and blogged about it entitled, "I'm staying" so check it out! I've been working alongside Pastor Scotty and Casey Gibbon's family to help with childcare and anything else they need. I'm very blessed to have been placed by God to offer some of my talents and giftings to them.

Free-time! I live with a family of 6. A type of boarding, if you will. I've known them since I was very young, and they are very hospitable. It's becoming easier to say "no" to the children when indeed I feel like saying "no." I'm a people pleaser and saying no to anyone is extremely difficult for me. Especially to the people that mean the most to me in the whole world. This is a problem I have been working on. Because, sometimes saying yes to things requires me to back out on things I have committed to, or become very stressed because I cannot manage my time efficiently between everyone. But I really enjoy hanging out with my Life Groupers, and hitting the coffee house every now and then. Caramel Macchiatos...mmmm! So bad for me! :-(

Holiday letter/Newsletter will go out over the course of the next few weeks. I am putting together a little something that will say to many that read this and keep up with my life a very sincere Thank You and a short summary of what going to New Orleans and El Salvador did for the residents that live there because of your generosity and prayerful attitude in sending me to be Christ's hands and feet. It will also include updates about the future and my long term plan. (Not that it is a set plan, because everything is totally in God's hands, and we all know how He is best at tweaking our plans to make them soooo much better.)

Most currently: Please be in prayer for this: About a year ago, when God began to visibly transform every step of my life in front of my very eyes, a small seed was planted in my heart by what I believe was most indeed the Holy Spirit. I had a very strong urge to write down what was happening, and I did. But, I also felt like I am to write about it so that others may be inspired at a young age to follow their heart and act on what God puts in their heart. I also want to incorporate our in between years for girls. Ya know, the years I am going through right now. Those out-of-high-school-in-college-single-girl years. I think God may have a slight twist in our life stories, and I can't wait to continue in prayer about this matter, and then ACT on it! How exciting!

Well, I must go and take a shower, and actually begin this day. I really can't believe I am still in bed!

Love you! xoxo

Sunday, October 4, 2009

So Loved

I should be studying right now. In my defense, I have studied a LOT today. :-) And, I am feeling rather crummy too. SO, I deserve to update my blog.

This weekend was the JamesRiverWomen's conference Designed For Life: So Loved. It was incredible. It was such a resourceful time for me. Another encouraging, bold, confronting push for me to really show people how much Christ and myself love them. I do love people. SO much. My heart breaks for the lonely, isolated, hurting, socially withdrawn, sinners, homeless, hungry, naked, and sick... During my time in El Salvador, I prayed and begged God that He would replace my eyes with His own. I want to see through people as He does. I want to feel the pain His heart feels when He looks at what this harsh world has done to His people.

I love the way this conference spread how much God loves His people. But, what I love more is seeing those loved people spread more love. I just love seeing people do the very thing we were created for as women. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!

One specific thing I felt the Spirit speaking to me during the conference was that I may very well be using the idea of worldly success to inhibit God's ULTIMATE plan. God has a plan, and He can take any decision I make and tweak it to get me where He wants me. But, I don't want to waste time. I want to be out there allowing God to get EVERY second of my life as He can get. And, it's SO up to me to give it away to Him. He will not force me to give Him all of me. I know that God has a plan for my life far greater than I could ever imagine. And, I'm going for it.

The past few weeks I have really been tossing up the idea of furthering my education in the Nursing field. And, when I stepped back and evaluated the reasons why I would do this... Well, let me share them with YOU.
1) I will make more money.
2) I will be able to lead, to be in charge, on a hospital floor.
3) I will be able to pay for a nice house and car.
4) My family wants me to.
5) My close friends think you can never go wrong in having a higher degree.

And, I agree with everything that everyone tells me. It is the logical thing to do. I felt God speaking to my heart these questions during one of the sessions.

First question asked: "Could the want for success be a tool Satan is using to keep me from missions?" Hmmm.... maybe.

Second question God asked, "Will you always think, 'You're only a _(fill in the blank)_?'" (i.e. a nurse with only an associates, a nurse with only a bachelors, a nurse with only a masters, a young barely out of teen years girl?) And, as I type this, I sense God saying to me, "What about how I view you? Does that mean nothing to you, my daughter?"

Third question, "Am I missing the point?"

And as I answer the third question... I do think I have allowed myself to get unfocused. We as Christians tend to think that unless things are happening right in front of our faces, God isn't working or He is taking a break with us. But, I know the truth is, He is waiting for me to give Him a little more of me. How much more trust will I put in Him? How much? How far will I go? Will I be comfortable in knowing I am a daughter of Jesus and that He is my SOLE provider, or will a bigger, more prestigious degree?

I am going to close up this blog. But before I do, I want to let anyone who may feel the need to take offense that I am definitely not saying that furthering your education is a bad thing. In fact, I say GO as far as you can. In my case, God knows that I DO value this, but for my goals, dreams, and aspirations in my life, a higher degree may not be necessary right now.

In my perfect world, I would like to come back from wherever God sends me and eventually become a Nurse Practitioner. But what if there isn't time for that right now? What if God wants me now, all of me, for THIS time and occasion?

If so, I'm ALL there. Will you pray for me?

B.l.e.s.s.e.d.