Tonight I attended the SBU-St. John's College of Nursing Pinning and Commencement. What an exciting thing to join in celebration with the graduating class of 2009. It was also very exciting to catch a glimpse of what I get to do in like exactly 5 months. The date of my graduation is scheduled for May 20th, 2010. Whoa! I have a lot of hard work ahead of me, though. :) Let's do it.
Today marked the last day of my 5th semester of classes. Crazy. Three words: Time flies by. I was thinking earlier about all that I get to look forward to in the year of 2010. Here they are. Celebrate with me!
2010:
Start my last semester of working on my first nursing degree in January.
Get my braces off!
Turn 21 years old in March!
Graduate in May!
Start a job in June!
Take my boards in June!
Get a NEW car!
Move into my own place!
Find a husband! (So that's not a definite thing... ;-) haha)
Grow with the Lord! (<-that's pretty definite.)
That's a lot of really cool stuff! Really, that only takes me through half the year. Who knows what the other 6 months could hold, huh? God is such a good God. I can't wait until I can start talking about moving out of the country for missions. Maybe that will happen sooner than I hope. :)
Goodnight, loves.
xoxo
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
how to handle God's call
This is an excerpt from my Amplified Bible featuring notes and commentary by Joyce Meyer. I don't like the Amplified version, so I don't typically pull it out very often, but tonight, I am glad I did.
"Paul said that he kept the news of his calling to himself; he did not check it out with "the big guys" who were supposed to hear from God (see Galations 1:15-19). He knew what God did with him on that road to Damascus. He knew that he was changed forever (see Acts 9:3-8). He knew that the Son of God was unveiled and disclosed on the inside of ihm. He knew he could never go back to the life he had lived. He knew that for the rest of his life he would preach the Gospel and remain faithful to what he heard Jesus say to him.
But Paul also had the wisdom to know people would find his calling unbelievable. So he waited on God. He did not go running around checking witht he other apostles, saying, "Hey guys, I saw a light on the road and fell down, and this happened and that happened. What do you all think?" Instead, he went to Arabia, and then came back to Damascus. Three years after that, he traveled to Jerusalem to become acquainted with Peter, but did not see any of the other apostles except James.
Paul kept God's Word in his heart and let it grow and manifest on its own. Then he started doing what he was called to do. Soon others recognized that the calling on him must have been from God. What was the result? Galations 1:24 tells us that the people glorified God as the "Author and Source" of what had taken place in Paul.
Has God given you a calling to serve Him? As you stay in His Word and wait on Him, you will see growth in your life and receptivity to the message God gives you."
What a great lesson for me to be reminded of this evening. I'm a definite people-pleaser, and I am consistently looking to others to see what they think of what choices I am making. When in truth, I only need to wait upon the Lord. I need to not get too ahead of myself. Paul waited with the Lord for 3 years going through the training of his mind and transformation of his heart before God gave him permission to carry on with His duties. Whoa! 3 years?! It's only been one year since I was called to missions, but the truth is, that God is in control of where I go. He wants me to get there way more than even I want to get there.
Good stuff....
"Paul said that he kept the news of his calling to himself; he did not check it out with "the big guys" who were supposed to hear from God (see Galations 1:15-19). He knew what God did with him on that road to Damascus. He knew that he was changed forever (see Acts 9:3-8). He knew that the Son of God was unveiled and disclosed on the inside of ihm. He knew he could never go back to the life he had lived. He knew that for the rest of his life he would preach the Gospel and remain faithful to what he heard Jesus say to him.
But Paul also had the wisdom to know people would find his calling unbelievable. So he waited on God. He did not go running around checking witht he other apostles, saying, "Hey guys, I saw a light on the road and fell down, and this happened and that happened. What do you all think?" Instead, he went to Arabia, and then came back to Damascus. Three years after that, he traveled to Jerusalem to become acquainted with Peter, but did not see any of the other apostles except James.
Paul kept God's Word in his heart and let it grow and manifest on its own. Then he started doing what he was called to do. Soon others recognized that the calling on him must have been from God. What was the result? Galations 1:24 tells us that the people glorified God as the "Author and Source" of what had taken place in Paul.
Has God given you a calling to serve Him? As you stay in His Word and wait on Him, you will see growth in your life and receptivity to the message God gives you."
What a great lesson for me to be reminded of this evening. I'm a definite people-pleaser, and I am consistently looking to others to see what they think of what choices I am making. When in truth, I only need to wait upon the Lord. I need to not get too ahead of myself. Paul waited with the Lord for 3 years going through the training of his mind and transformation of his heart before God gave him permission to carry on with His duties. Whoa! 3 years?! It's only been one year since I was called to missions, but the truth is, that God is in control of where I go. He wants me to get there way more than even I want to get there.
Good stuff....
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Crazy Wedding Dream
Last night I had a really crazy dream. In my dream, I was standing with this guy that I used to have a huge thing for back in the day. He was standing beside me as my groom. But, he was so unhappy. I felt very confused because I knew it wasn't time to get married. Nothing was organized. I was in a beautiful dress, but no one stood up beside me, and there was no one there to officiate the marriage, either. My dad didn't walk me up the aisle. Very few people were even smiling. But, I loved him. I told him that several times, and he would just look at me like he felt bad for me. It was a horrid feeling. He told me that he couldn't tell me that he loved me, he could only show me. But still no happiness was revealed on his face. He didn't even want to hold my hand.
Now I know that this guy doesn't 'like' me now, even if he did back in the day. So, the actual person in the dream doesn't really cause me to think anything out of the ordinary. But, the Lord has spoken to me through dreams many times. As soon as I woke up, I felt something in my Spirit. I didn't want to hear it. But, at the same time, I knew better than to try and stop listening.
It felt like the Lord was saying to me that when I try to rush things and do it my way, everything feels so wrong. So 'wrong timing' feeling. I remember during the 'wedding' in my dream, there was a part where I was taken aside and family members were pushing me to marry him because he was good for me. "If he doesn't love you now, he will later," is what they said. I even woke myself up talking aloud in my sleep trying to tell him that through everything, I would be there for him. Friends, it was soooo real. I very rarely remember my dreams. Actually, typically when I do remember them, they are from the Lord. (Even as I type this up, there is still this crazy nudging feeling inside my gut.) As I listened to what the Lord wanted me to hear, I felt Him saying that He understands where I'm at in the whole relationship/wanting to date thing. And that if I wait, He has something incredible in store for me. But, if I choose not to wait, I will end up with somebody that can't love me like God wants my mate to love me. The choice is mine, and God will bless either one, but He has something better for me.
I want to be able to just relax and be content in waiting, but this urgent feeling is one I just can't shake. And maybe, just maybe, this urgency isn't in my heart and soul for a man. Maybe it's for something else God has brewing. Sometimes, I wish I could get a small glimpse of what the heavenly realm is holding, but I know I could never understand it. The more I read my Bible, the more questions I come up with.
God, You are an amazing God. Although I don't always understand Your ways, I want to walk with You. I want Your journey for me to unfold before me in Your timing. Lord, I need Your help to keep me in check while I wait. I need guidance. I need training. I need love. And, I need wisdom and understanding. Help me be a blessing to others, Lord. Open doors for me to do Your work. To do Your will throughout this town. Help me share Your life-breathing news to the homeless, broken, down and out. Use me, God. Use me, please. Show me purpose. Give me patience. Break me. I need to feel Your love, Lord.
I love you, God. Amen.
Now I know that this guy doesn't 'like' me now, even if he did back in the day. So, the actual person in the dream doesn't really cause me to think anything out of the ordinary. But, the Lord has spoken to me through dreams many times. As soon as I woke up, I felt something in my Spirit. I didn't want to hear it. But, at the same time, I knew better than to try and stop listening.
It felt like the Lord was saying to me that when I try to rush things and do it my way, everything feels so wrong. So 'wrong timing' feeling. I remember during the 'wedding' in my dream, there was a part where I was taken aside and family members were pushing me to marry him because he was good for me. "If he doesn't love you now, he will later," is what they said. I even woke myself up talking aloud in my sleep trying to tell him that through everything, I would be there for him. Friends, it was soooo real. I very rarely remember my dreams. Actually, typically when I do remember them, they are from the Lord. (Even as I type this up, there is still this crazy nudging feeling inside my gut.) As I listened to what the Lord wanted me to hear, I felt Him saying that He understands where I'm at in the whole relationship/wanting to date thing. And that if I wait, He has something incredible in store for me. But, if I choose not to wait, I will end up with somebody that can't love me like God wants my mate to love me. The choice is mine, and God will bless either one, but He has something better for me.
I want to be able to just relax and be content in waiting, but this urgent feeling is one I just can't shake. And maybe, just maybe, this urgency isn't in my heart and soul for a man. Maybe it's for something else God has brewing. Sometimes, I wish I could get a small glimpse of what the heavenly realm is holding, but I know I could never understand it. The more I read my Bible, the more questions I come up with.
God, You are an amazing God. Although I don't always understand Your ways, I want to walk with You. I want Your journey for me to unfold before me in Your timing. Lord, I need Your help to keep me in check while I wait. I need guidance. I need training. I need love. And, I need wisdom and understanding. Help me be a blessing to others, Lord. Open doors for me to do Your work. To do Your will throughout this town. Help me share Your life-breathing news to the homeless, broken, down and out. Use me, God. Use me, please. Show me purpose. Give me patience. Break me. I need to feel Your love, Lord.
I love you, God. Amen.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Pray for the nations.
Lord Jesus.
Thank you so much for who You are. Thank You for being gracious, merciful, and the lover of my brokenness. Thank you for all of the opportunities You have so delicately planned out before me. Thank you for loving me, Lord.
A long time ago, I gave you my life. And, I told you that I would do anything, go anywhere, be anyone for you. My whole life, Lord, is so yours. And, I'm completely content knowing that I gave it to the One who is in complete control of everything.
In this beautiful life You have given me, the one you chose specifically for me, the life that you put together so intricately, in the life that you designed... you gave me an authentic passion for the hurting. When I see the very ones that you created to live life to the fullest broken, bruised, battered, and forgotten, my heart literally cracks.
God, Your people are in pain, and I am crying out to you to send help to them. God, call up this generation of children. Give them hearts full of even more passion for Your treasures living on this earth. Your people. I pray that when people see photos of the hurting, homeless, and starved that they would fall to their knees in anguish, but rise again knowing they are to bring hope. It is our responsibility, and I pray that You pour out conviction on those that read these words. Draw people into serving the least of these, Lord. Shut every door and leave no room for the enemy to cause confusion.
I bring the missionaries before you. They have laid down their life to reach these people. They have sacrificed many things to bring hope to them. God, bless them. Protect them. Strengthen them. Cause their hearts to be full of hope and excitement. As they worship You in song, and in the Word, and in their daily life, shine down upon them. Give them what they ask for. Send along others to help them fulfill their needs. Give them dreams, visions, and desire for what is to come. Pour Your spirit down upon them, and let no evil thing come against them.
Thank You Lord for being a God of love, and one of faithfulness. I am nothing, absolutely nothing without You.
Amen
Thank you so much for who You are. Thank You for being gracious, merciful, and the lover of my brokenness. Thank you for all of the opportunities You have so delicately planned out before me. Thank you for loving me, Lord.
A long time ago, I gave you my life. And, I told you that I would do anything, go anywhere, be anyone for you. My whole life, Lord, is so yours. And, I'm completely content knowing that I gave it to the One who is in complete control of everything.
In this beautiful life You have given me, the one you chose specifically for me, the life that you put together so intricately, in the life that you designed... you gave me an authentic passion for the hurting. When I see the very ones that you created to live life to the fullest broken, bruised, battered, and forgotten, my heart literally cracks.
God, Your people are in pain, and I am crying out to you to send help to them. God, call up this generation of children. Give them hearts full of even more passion for Your treasures living on this earth. Your people. I pray that when people see photos of the hurting, homeless, and starved that they would fall to their knees in anguish, but rise again knowing they are to bring hope. It is our responsibility, and I pray that You pour out conviction on those that read these words. Draw people into serving the least of these, Lord. Shut every door and leave no room for the enemy to cause confusion.
I bring the missionaries before you. They have laid down their life to reach these people. They have sacrificed many things to bring hope to them. God, bless them. Protect them. Strengthen them. Cause their hearts to be full of hope and excitement. As they worship You in song, and in the Word, and in their daily life, shine down upon them. Give them what they ask for. Send along others to help them fulfill their needs. Give them dreams, visions, and desire for what is to come. Pour Your spirit down upon them, and let no evil thing come against them.
Thank You Lord for being a God of love, and one of faithfulness. I am nothing, absolutely nothing without You.
Amen
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Sometimes My Heart Aches
It's been a while since updating my blog. (And, at 11:30pm, it's probably not a very good time to try to do so...)
It feels like the more I try not to think about the fact that I'm single, the more anxious and impatient I become. I know I'm only twenty. I know that most people like to remind me of that quite frequently, even though I really dislike it. I know that I have time, and I'm not doubting that for a second. It's just that it all feels so very hopeless. Could he really be out there? Is there really a man that wants the same thing in life that I do? Could there ever be someone so specific?
A lot of people say to make lists, to pray for specifics, to make vows, to do this, to do that... but it's not really that necessary. A list isn't going to bring you the man of your dreams, and praying about it doesn't make a whole lot of sense because God knows what is better for us than we do. The more I pray about it..the more I just think and dwell on it. It may be better for me not to pray about it. ;-)
The things I long for and feel ready for... coming home to make dinner, chat about the day, read a good book together, pray together, volunteer together, connect with others. . . Share in the same dreams and visions for the future the Lord is planning for us. I know it's totally not necessary to be married and do huge things for the Lord. And, I'm all down with that. But at this point in my heart and life, I ache for it. I'm not unhappy alone, or mad, or sad... just ready. At least that's what my heart says.
Another ridiculous point is that I have virtually NO time to put into a relationship. Maybe that's why God hasn't sent him yet. He knows I'm busy... yeah, I'll keep telling myself that. Lol. I can be impatient, but the truth remains that God's timing is best. (Elizabeth said that is what the sermon was on tonight. Too bad I had to be at clinicals.) He knows what I need way more than I do. God wants me to get where He wants me to go way more than I want to get where He wants me to go. And, I must cling to that.
I have so much more I could/want to say.... but I won't.
Goodnight, loves.
xoxo
It feels like the more I try not to think about the fact that I'm single, the more anxious and impatient I become. I know I'm only twenty. I know that most people like to remind me of that quite frequently, even though I really dislike it. I know that I have time, and I'm not doubting that for a second. It's just that it all feels so very hopeless. Could he really be out there? Is there really a man that wants the same thing in life that I do? Could there ever be someone so specific?
A lot of people say to make lists, to pray for specifics, to make vows, to do this, to do that... but it's not really that necessary. A list isn't going to bring you the man of your dreams, and praying about it doesn't make a whole lot of sense because God knows what is better for us than we do. The more I pray about it..the more I just think and dwell on it. It may be better for me not to pray about it. ;-)
The things I long for and feel ready for... coming home to make dinner, chat about the day, read a good book together, pray together, volunteer together, connect with others. . . Share in the same dreams and visions for the future the Lord is planning for us. I know it's totally not necessary to be married and do huge things for the Lord. And, I'm all down with that. But at this point in my heart and life, I ache for it. I'm not unhappy alone, or mad, or sad... just ready. At least that's what my heart says.
Another ridiculous point is that I have virtually NO time to put into a relationship. Maybe that's why God hasn't sent him yet. He knows I'm busy... yeah, I'll keep telling myself that. Lol. I can be impatient, but the truth remains that God's timing is best. (Elizabeth said that is what the sermon was on tonight. Too bad I had to be at clinicals.) He knows what I need way more than I do. God wants me to get where He wants me to go way more than I want to get where He wants me to go. And, I must cling to that.
I have so much more I could/want to say.... but I won't.
Goodnight, loves.
xoxo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)