while we were still sinners

I believe in teaching about sin. But, I also strongly believe that you cannot teach on the subject of sin without teaching the power of grace. 


Attempting to place the flesh under control, before accepting the gift of our sin already being covered by grace, while we are yet sinning, is impossible. Relying on ourselves to break chains of bondage simply doesn't work. Forgiveness of current sin through the gift of grace empowers the Spirit to aid in the conquering of sinful habits. Anyone who says they are in Christ should never hold themselves or any other individual to a level of expectation of religious perfection.


Romans 3:22-27 says, 

22 We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.
23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.

24 Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.

25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past,
26 for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.
27 Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on obeying the law. It is based on faith.

Christ died for us with full knowledge of the condition of our sinful nature. He knew that dying for us wouldn't stop us from sinning, but that it would cover us and make us perfect in God's eyes. He died for us while we were yet sinners. ALL sin separates us from God, period. ALL unforgiven sin leads us to eternal damnation. But once Jesus is accepted as Lord and Savior, WE.ARE.COVERED.BY.HIS.GRACE. End of story. Attempting to fulfill the law on our own unsuccessfully leads to a frustrating and angering walk. One that I believe Jesus has no desire for us to journey.

It's only after receiving His grace for sins past, current, and future, will the law begin to fulfill itself within our walk with Jesus, very naturally by His Spirit's gentle guidance.

Romans 5:8, "But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners."

"Do you like guys?"

"So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

I wish there was an explanation for the thoughts that run through my mind. As I read the aforementioned verse, I shake my head in disagreement. There are conflicting views in my heart. My soul fights the truth at every turn. I realize, however, that when it comes to this season: I am on my own. My friends are surely frustrated at my lack of response to their words. At times, I desperately wish I was the person who clinged to the heart of Jesus and encouraged others in His ways.

A few days ago at work, a new coworker asked me if I was married. Nope. Kids? Nope. Dating? Nope. Interested in anyone? Nope. (said a little quicker.) With a little hesitancy she asked, "Do you like guys?" oh.my.gosh! you've gotta be kidding me... I quickly answered, "Uhhhh, YES!" She then asked what my "type" was, questioning, "Do you want a good Christian boy?" Quicker answered than any of the other questions, I replied, "Oh...noooo..."


As soon as I said it, I couldn't believe the words had exited my mouth. I tried to recover by saying, "Well.... I don't wanna be a Pastor's wife or anything..." She nodded in understanding. What the hell?! I'm a freaking disaster.


When it comes to 1 Peter 5:6-7; How can I ever be content with who I am right now in this moment? My words spew ignorance and I can be really awkward. If anything, when it comes to God, I feel demoted, certainly not promoted. But, when it comes to living carefree, I definitely have that under control. I've probably taken that one to the extreme. Why would He be careful with such a wreck as me?

Still, through all of this season, I'm confident that there is a reason for where my heart insists on staying. It is not pleasant, nor seemingly beneficial; but there has to be a reason. One day, this.will.break. Freedom.will.come. and I pray I'm not to jaded to allow it to pass by me.

Meet me tomorrow...

I have been quiet as of late.
I have been seeking.

I wish sculpting a feeling was a possibility.
If you could maybe touch it, you might understand.
Because, my words seem unable to display the emotions twirling in my insides.

Last night, I prayed God would encounter me today.
God, you're big. Meet me tomorrow.

Truth is, I am such an imperfect person. I mean, really imperfect.
There are things that I struggle with on a deep level.
Seriously.
Things so rooted and knotted.
Things I fear would make you run if you were to see them or hear them.
But, I am ensnared by it all.
God, you're big. Meet me tomorrow.


I walked through the doors confidently, head strong but heart weak.
You are who You say You are. Meet me today...please.
The music began to play, and without my permission, walls weakened.
"For You and You alone awake my soul..."
In that moment, I remembered:
Only He is able to breathe life into me...to awaken me...


Body weak and Spirit hungry, He breathed on me; awakened me.
The lyrics to come encouraged my hand to raise and a chain to crack.
My response:
"I hear Your voice and this is my awakening."
Dear God, meet me tomorrow, again...please.