do you wrestle with the belief that God holds the balance of grace and justice in perfect harmony?
do you accept His grace?
do you believe He longs to bestow it upon you?
When I chose to open my eyes and gaze into the ugly of my sin, I became fully aware of how unworthy I am to be a recipient of God's grace. because grace is for those who sin "little" sins. grace is for those who tell "white lies" and quietly mutter disdain under their breath. grace is only for those who are worthy of receiving it. grace is for those who don't return to their sin. grace is for the perfect.
if I am aware of my shortcomings, how much more is God aware of my failings. how can a God who is whole and holy and worthy and perfect possibly give such a sinner His graciousness.
it is hard for me not to view God watching me in disgust. looking down from the beauty that is Heaven and shaking His head at my ridiculousness. I anticipate that He will open His mouth and spew judgment on my mind of wrath and heart of resistance. the Bible speaks of Him both as grace-giving and a judge.
is it possible for me to know which stance He will take with me? how does He view me? is He disappointed in me?
Romans 2:6, "He will judge everyone according to what they have done."
and
Ephesians 1:6, "So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son."
which is it? because much like Paul, I find that even though in my deep I desire to do good, I so often do wrong.
I struggle with the concept of grace. I wrestle with believing that God truly holds a perfect balance between grace and judgment. I don't always accept grace. I believe that God would rather pour out wrath of judgment on me than lavish me in grace.
grace is a scandalous thing.
most incomprehensible.
what are your thoughts on the subject of grace? what has God taught you throughout your journey? do you wrestle with the same things I do? have you grown in understanding of grace through your struggle? if so, please share...
No comments:
Post a Comment