Monday, July 14, 2008

a rough one

Ugh man...
I have had a rough rough day. First of all, there has been so much crap going on at work lately and I just got really sick of it. So I decided to quit, now that I have acquired enough money to pay for my apartment payments. I'm tired of it and I do not have to put up with it now that I have the loan and stuff coming through. I just really want to give up right now, no lie. I'm tired. I feel like I've just been run through the ringer. Maybe it's because I need a break.
Well, after I told my boss that I needed to go ahead and finish out this coming week and then be done, I came back home and got raked over the coals about my decision from my surrounding family members. I blew up and didn't handle the situation the way I needed to.

I'll be honest with you, there's a part of me that absolutely cannot imagine life without God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But there's another part of me that feels like He can totally do without me. I know that we should base things off of our own convictions. And ya know, regarding the rapture and all and standing ready... well, I just don't know about myself. I feel like I have good intent, but I fail at almost every single thing I do. It's discouraging.

I feel depressed, crazy, and stressed. And I just don't know anymore.

Maybe I'm freakin Bipolar.
Goodnight.

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