We each find satisfaction in separate things. Some enjoy ice cream, others prefer a Hershey's candy bar. Some crave a steak, others crave vegetables. I'm reading a book named Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus. It is really good. The truth is that many are starving their souls. They're trying to feed it with so many things that they think will satisfy it...but only the love of God can feed it. Doing what the Lord created you to do- satisfies it.
Me- I have been designed and purposed. To be in Haiti. To serve. To love. In December of 2008, I heard God speak and in the middle of the Barnes and Noble Starbucks cafe, I almost fell off the chair. If you've only recently began reading my blog, you do not know the story of the past year of my life. God has been so good, and He is so near.
I've been learning a lesson. I've been learning about passions, loves, and creations. And my professor has been the Lord. He is taking time to show me how HE is the one who gives us our passions. It is because He did, indeed, create us for His plan. We are but human, and we cannot contain every passion that the Lord has. In fact, we can only hold but a portion of one of his passions. This isn't 'rocket science,' and I realize some of you that read this will be confused or think this is old news. But, God is teaching me something, and I want to share it with you.
He has created me, and birthed into me a love for people. More specifically, a passion to see people to come to know Him and live in the passions He designated for them before they were born. And a step deeper, a love for the Haitian people. One that feels blood deep. I don't just love them, they are family to me. One of the lessons I have learned is that, (duh), not everyone has the same passion as I do. Some people do! I've talked to some that do! But others do not have the slightest clue as to why I would want to live somewhere that is in such a desperate place of neediness. Perhaps it's because I realize what a hopeless mess I was when Jesus came and lived in me. Some people are fearful for me. Most believe I won't follow through with the calling of my God.
A few things come to mind when that is implied. 1) Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. 2)If He is for me, who can be against me. (Italics mine). and 3) The calling of the Lord is irrevocable. Long long ago, when I was a pre-teen, I told the Lord that every breath I took, and every step I took was His. I would do whatever, go wherever, and do it whenever He asked me to do and go. I have an opportunity to go to this country in November, and I am praying that God be glorified in any decision I must make regarding the trip.
Please learn this with me. The passion in my heart is God-given. He has allowed my heart to feel what He feels for this country and it's people-HIS people. You may have a passion to place orphan children in foster/adoptive homes. That passion is God-given. He has allowed your heart to feel what He feels for those children. You may have a passion to start a cafe, a passion to birth children, a passion to be a scientist. You must understand your passions are not of yourself. They are given to you by an all-knowing, omnipresent, and fearless God. They are His passions. Let Him do the work through you. Understand that other people's passions are from God and they are just as important to Him as your passion is to Him. (Because they are ALL His!) Be mindful of that. Would it be a little weird for me to remind you to support God's passions? Though sometimes we allow our feelings to be hurt, and we become offended because we think someone isn't paying enough attention to our passion and dream. Two things to that: 1) Be respectful of other's dreams and play into them. Give contacts, pray hard, and offer your help to someone who shares their dreams with you. And 2) Don't get offended. It's GOD's passion. He will get done what He wants to get done. Just be His vessel.
I'm stoked about what I'm learning, and I hope that you have gotten something out of this late night post! In 5 hours, I'm awaking for my day at the hospital!! Bring on the learning because one day, Haiti, I am coming to help you! And, until then, my soul will remain slightly starved, because until I'm working in the passion the Lord has given me, I will still crave home. Haiti.
Satisfied? Or do you still crave?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Guilt and Love
Ya know, It's really hard for me to even justify the feelings I have for Haiti. The sadness... I'm trying to remember to be proactive. I'm not there. I've never been there. But I long to be there. Tonight during the service at James River, a man delivered a Word from the Lord. It was intense. A lot of what the Lord had to tell us was about just whole hearted openness to Him. Be willing to let Him use you no matter what it may cost you. It's hard to picture the next several years of my life. Honestly, past the month of May, I am blind. But, I do know I want May to get here quick.
I think about what they lack and what I have. I thank God for His provisions. I am blessed. But, I can't help but think about water and food wasting here. Every single night when I lay down in my bed, I almost feel guilty. Thousands are sleeping on dirt streets.
My heart is burdened. And I know the most powerful thing to do is pray. So, I'm going to go spend time in prayer.
...and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. Isaiah 58:10
I think about what they lack and what I have. I thank God for His provisions. I am blessed. But, I can't help but think about water and food wasting here. Every single night when I lay down in my bed, I almost feel guilty. Thousands are sleeping on dirt streets.
My heart is burdened. And I know the most powerful thing to do is pray. So, I'm going to go spend time in prayer.
...and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. Isaiah 58:10
Thursday, February 11, 2010
*Haiti*
Convoy of Hope (check out www.convoyofhope.org) sent out a really awesome tweet the other day. It read something like this, "As Haiti's story leaves the news, please do not let it leave you." It's one of those sentences that impacts you at 200 mph, and breaks your heart. It leaves you thinking, What can I do? Knowing full well that there is only so much money one person can give. Don't get me wrong, I know there is MORE that you can do besides just give financially, including raising awareness, possibly going to the ground to aid, and prayer. But sometimes it all feels so very insignificant. I am one person. How can one person make a difference?
It is then that I am reminded by our most powerful God how much difference one person CAN make. Elijah prayed against rain, and for like 70 years it did not rain. That's rather significant, don't you think? Last night at church, we learned that the most powerful kind of prayer is consistent prayer. Hour by hour, day by day, night after night... consistence. The full weight of that responsibility did not hit me 24 hours ago, when I heard it. It is making impact right now. I can't help but find correlation between Haiti/media/prayer in my own life. I prayed literally every second of the day for a solid two weeks for this country and those serving in it, but as time progressed, so did I.
I caught myself about a week ago updating my twitter status. It was going to read "kaylaaiken: is starving. Must stop and eat." When I realized my words, I was so ashamed of myself. We are blessed. I am so blessed. Blessed isn't even the word for it, I feel sometimes. I'm downright spoiled. I take advantage of my situation, and millions more do too. When I'm hungry, I eat. When they're hungry, they wait it out. When they're hungry, they find their stash of mudpies. But when I'm hungry, I drive to the next drive-thru and order a $5.00 meal. FIVE dollars is a week's wages in Haiti.
I have been following a family from Minnesota. They have been missionaries working with two ministries, one of which is Heartline. It is a medical team. They have several children, and reading Troy and Tara Livesay's weblog...it is life altering. It keeps me from becoming too numb. It reminds me of the devastation. Check out their weblog and pray for them. Pray hard for them. They have recently (this week) flew to the United States to be with their children. They put their children (all of them) on an airplane short notice to get them out of Haiti. Not even knowing exactly where that plane was going. Can you imagine? Can you i-m-a-g-i-n-e??
They were reunited with their children and their son-in-law captured the reunion through photos. Viewing them brought tears to my eyes. This family needs prayer. They are sorting through a lot emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
As Convoy of Hope said, "As Haiti's story leaves the news, please do not let it leave you." Pray, friends. Pray really hard. Haiti needs your prayers. We are all called to intercede for them.
I love you!!
~Kayla~
It is then that I am reminded by our most powerful God how much difference one person CAN make. Elijah prayed against rain, and for like 70 years it did not rain. That's rather significant, don't you think? Last night at church, we learned that the most powerful kind of prayer is consistent prayer. Hour by hour, day by day, night after night... consistence. The full weight of that responsibility did not hit me 24 hours ago, when I heard it. It is making impact right now. I can't help but find correlation between Haiti/media/prayer in my own life. I prayed literally every second of the day for a solid two weeks for this country and those serving in it, but as time progressed, so did I.
I caught myself about a week ago updating my twitter status. It was going to read "kaylaaiken: is starving. Must stop and eat." When I realized my words, I was so ashamed of myself. We are blessed. I am so blessed. Blessed isn't even the word for it, I feel sometimes. I'm downright spoiled. I take advantage of my situation, and millions more do too. When I'm hungry, I eat. When they're hungry, they wait it out. When they're hungry, they find their stash of mudpies. But when I'm hungry, I drive to the next drive-thru and order a $5.00 meal. FIVE dollars is a week's wages in Haiti.
I have been following a family from Minnesota. They have been missionaries working with two ministries, one of which is Heartline. It is a medical team. They have several children, and reading Troy and Tara Livesay's weblog...it is life altering. It keeps me from becoming too numb. It reminds me of the devastation. Check out their weblog and pray for them. Pray hard for them. They have recently (this week) flew to the United States to be with their children. They put their children (all of them) on an airplane short notice to get them out of Haiti. Not even knowing exactly where that plane was going. Can you imagine? Can you i-m-a-g-i-n-e??
They were reunited with their children and their son-in-law captured the reunion through photos. Viewing them brought tears to my eyes. This family needs prayer. They are sorting through a lot emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
As Convoy of Hope said, "As Haiti's story leaves the news, please do not let it leave you." Pray, friends. Pray really hard. Haiti needs your prayers. We are all called to intercede for them.
I love you!!
~Kayla~
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Be the One
I have had so many short words from the Lord that I have wanted to share with you, but no time to put them on to my blog this week. So, I'll just share what the Lord laid on my heart today.
Today was Vision Sunday at my church. It only happens one time a year, and it is a collection of blessings and stories of how God has gone before us AND pulled up the rear of all the projects the church has stepped out in faith to accomplish. It is also a compilation of what dreams and visions the church has for the next year. I can't share with you everything because it would just take too long, but let me just emphasize that it was so very special. I cried out of joy during the entire thing. God's SO faithful, which simply blows. my. mind. When a door is opened to you, step through it, even if you're unsure of what's on the other side.
A few Sunday's ago, Pastor Scotty preached about getting involved and how it is our job as Christians to serve, no questions asked. Jesus served, so get past pettiness and just go for it. I have had such a rough time getting connected at James River, but over half my trouble has been brought on my own self. Whether that be shyness (which I really am not), fear (again, usually not a problem), or indecisiveness (which IS a problem...). However, I decided to fill out a volunteer card, and I got contacted by all three of them. I chose to go with the Red Carpet ministry. (Check out www.jamesriver.org to learn more.)
This morning, they hosted a meeting for those who want to be a part of the Outdoor team. I have always appreciated the greeters on the sidewalks, and entrances to the property, and just LOVE to love on others, so I thought this would suit my personality best. And, most of the greeters I have seen have been close to the same age as myself, so I think it will be a good connecting point! I volunteered to help set out cones beginning at 6:30 in the morning. How early?! But how much fun, right? Then I will greet for the first service, then attend first service and go home. Awe! I know it's gonna be early, and cold for a while, but I am gonna LOVE this.
The Lord and I were having a little conversation as I was driving earlier, and we were talking about my desire for marriage and a family soon, (which we have a lot), and I felt God's approval of what I decided to do in the area of volunteering this morning. He also gestured that what I want in a husband and lifelong partner, I must be myself. I know some of you reading this are like, "Duh..." It definitely hit me in a different way today.
Here's a few things that are musts in a mate:
:of the Faith.
:willing to take giant God risks.
:serve wholeheartedly and faithfully.
:be mentored by those wiser than he.
:a leader who follows.
:a lover of the house of God.
And, if I want all of those things in my man, then I, too, must want those things. I say I am. But, in truth, have I been? Have I been willing to take giant risks for God, serve faithfully (not late...), willing to follow before leading, have I truly LOVED the house of God, and the church therein? I'd like to say I've given my ALL in those areas, but in truth, I know that my fleshly tugs have definitely reigned in some of those areas.
Here's the thing, when I begin to do what I want my future husband and wonderful father of our children to do, I will probably meet him. Currently, all I'm doing is warming a church seat for the next guest, (which is rather comfortable), but I would never date someone who wasn't active in the church...
Sounds so goofy, I know...
An application from MY lesson tonight: Be the friend your ideal friend would look like. Be the servant of Christ your idea of a Christ-server is. Be the sister that You would want to have. Be the daughter, wife, momma.... It might be really uncomfortable, but when you step out, God will reward you. And, a gentle nudge of approval from the Lord feels way better than the 'best' this earth could give.
Today was Vision Sunday at my church. It only happens one time a year, and it is a collection of blessings and stories of how God has gone before us AND pulled up the rear of all the projects the church has stepped out in faith to accomplish. It is also a compilation of what dreams and visions the church has for the next year. I can't share with you everything because it would just take too long, but let me just emphasize that it was so very special. I cried out of joy during the entire thing. God's SO faithful, which simply blows. my. mind. When a door is opened to you, step through it, even if you're unsure of what's on the other side.
A few Sunday's ago, Pastor Scotty preached about getting involved and how it is our job as Christians to serve, no questions asked. Jesus served, so get past pettiness and just go for it. I have had such a rough time getting connected at James River, but over half my trouble has been brought on my own self. Whether that be shyness (which I really am not), fear (again, usually not a problem), or indecisiveness (which IS a problem...). However, I decided to fill out a volunteer card, and I got contacted by all three of them. I chose to go with the Red Carpet ministry. (Check out www.jamesriver.org to learn more.)
This morning, they hosted a meeting for those who want to be a part of the Outdoor team. I have always appreciated the greeters on the sidewalks, and entrances to the property, and just LOVE to love on others, so I thought this would suit my personality best. And, most of the greeters I have seen have been close to the same age as myself, so I think it will be a good connecting point! I volunteered to help set out cones beginning at 6:30 in the morning. How early?! But how much fun, right? Then I will greet for the first service, then attend first service and go home. Awe! I know it's gonna be early, and cold for a while, but I am gonna LOVE this.
The Lord and I were having a little conversation as I was driving earlier, and we were talking about my desire for marriage and a family soon, (which we have a lot), and I felt God's approval of what I decided to do in the area of volunteering this morning. He also gestured that what I want in a husband and lifelong partner, I must be myself. I know some of you reading this are like, "Duh..." It definitely hit me in a different way today.
Here's a few things that are musts in a mate:
:of the Faith.
:willing to take giant God risks.
:serve wholeheartedly and faithfully.
:be mentored by those wiser than he.
:a leader who follows.
:a lover of the house of God.
And, if I want all of those things in my man, then I, too, must want those things. I say I am. But, in truth, have I been? Have I been willing to take giant risks for God, serve faithfully (not late...), willing to follow before leading, have I truly LOVED the house of God, and the church therein? I'd like to say I've given my ALL in those areas, but in truth, I know that my fleshly tugs have definitely reigned in some of those areas.
Here's the thing, when I begin to do what I want my future husband and wonderful father of our children to do, I will probably meet him. Currently, all I'm doing is warming a church seat for the next guest, (which is rather comfortable), but I would never date someone who wasn't active in the church...
Sounds so goofy, I know...
An application from MY lesson tonight: Be the friend your ideal friend would look like. Be the servant of Christ your idea of a Christ-server is. Be the sister that You would want to have. Be the daughter, wife, momma.... It might be really uncomfortable, but when you step out, God will reward you. And, a gentle nudge of approval from the Lord feels way better than the 'best' this earth could give.
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