Oh my word!! My life has been SO crazy lately! I have SO many things that I've wanted to blog about. My personal computer has been out of commission. Technology is SO unreliable. :-) Hopefully soon I can buy me a new one. I'm too concerned about saving up for a car right now, though, to worry about a computer.
Here's what's happened lately:
I started my new job officially! Made it through general hospital orientation, the basic RN orientation, computer classes, and now I'm in my 3rd week of actually being a nurse. I never knew it would be quite as hard as this. When I say hard, I just mean mentally exhausting. I triple, and quadruple check myself so many times over so many things in one day. By the end of the day, I'm STILL questioning my decisions. It's hard to have a life (or 4) cradled in your hands for 12 hours and not be nervous. Then when I think about taking them on myself, with no 'go-fer'... It's scary, and nervewracking. I have a new respect for healthcare workers. They do and put up with a LOT, and risk their own lives taking care of others. It's TOTALLY true.
Anyway, I have been working 3 days in a row of 12 hour shifts for a total of 36 hours/week. It's a great schedule, and from the looks of it, overtime is going to be super easy to acquire. They need so much help... I work days right now orienting with one of my former instructors. She is a GREAT trainer on the job. I was nervous at first about working with one of my teachers from RN school, but she is SO WONDERFUL!!! After next week (after the 8th of July), I will begin to do a couple of weeks of orienting on night shift. This is the shift I was hired for. Other good news is that even though I have to work every other weekend, the weekends are considered friday night and saturday night, NOT saturday and sunday! This means I might be really tired, but I won't miss church very often after all! God is SO good! He knows how important fellowship is! :-)
Next, God has been totally working on my heart. It's amazing. The things He is showing me, teaching me, how He is guiding me. Also, He's showing me SO many things about myself. It's amazing how you can't really understand how great His salvation is or how great His love is for you until you realize how dirty and disgusting you truly are without Christ to cover you. One thing He is having me go through is exactly that. Not a pleasant experience, but He is helping me see just how brilliant His plans are. And, I'm thankful.
The next thing I want to blog about is about my Dad and what God is doing in my heart. My eyes are closing involuntarily, and I still REALLY want to spend some time with my Bible and in God's presence. It's a desperate need.
Love,
Kayla
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
In Search of the Spirit's Truth
Disclaimer: If you don't believe, this is going to be a weird read. To be honest, I still find it pretty weird.
I'm sure there are times in your life where you just feel stuck in time. Everyone and everything around you continues to function in what society deems normal. But, somehow, you are caught in a standstill. I can't figure out if things are moving really fast or super slow, but I know I'm not viewing time the same way most people are right now.
Let me take you on a little journey of what has been floating through my mind lately. The first thing I will discuss is the understanding of my desperate need for the Holy Spirit to be active in my life. Whoa! Did I just say that? It's been a really long couple of months when I think about trying to understand exactly what the Holy Spirit even IS, it's function, it's role in my life.... (whether or not I should even call it an it? Though some more specific things are still left unanswered, I know I need it.
I can't remember a time when I wasn't loving God. I can remember times as a child where everything was falling down around my family's life, but God was there in my heart and held my hand through everything. Sure, I went through some anger and hurt and felt God was to blame, but in my heart of hearts I knew He was my only source of refuge, and I ran into it. Some people have a story. One where they can sincerely point to a specific date of a complete heart change and the weight of sin lifted from their shoulders, and it drew them closer to the Lord. But, I, on the other hand, cannot remember such a time.
Lately, I have compared my longing for the Spirit's filling to that of an unsaved person's longing for freedom in Christ. Somehow it just draws you in. I began seeking and searching the Word of God and books about the Holy Spirit in search of the truth. Inwardly, I confess that I first began to seek out of reason to disprove the most popular A/G opinion and doctrine about the Spirit. But, with an open mind and no one forcing me one way, I came to pretty much the same conclusion about it as A/G has. I will not reject truth.
I have not, (like A/G likes to put it), been filled with the Holy Spirit. But, I know that I know that I know that it is drawing me. Beckoning me. Asking for full rein... But something deep inside of me stops it.
This is all for now! It's time for church!!
I'm sure there are times in your life where you just feel stuck in time. Everyone and everything around you continues to function in what society deems normal. But, somehow, you are caught in a standstill. I can't figure out if things are moving really fast or super slow, but I know I'm not viewing time the same way most people are right now.
Let me take you on a little journey of what has been floating through my mind lately. The first thing I will discuss is the understanding of my desperate need for the Holy Spirit to be active in my life. Whoa! Did I just say that? It's been a really long couple of months when I think about trying to understand exactly what the Holy Spirit even IS, it's function, it's role in my life.... (whether or not I should even call it an it? Though some more specific things are still left unanswered, I know I need it.
I can't remember a time when I wasn't loving God. I can remember times as a child where everything was falling down around my family's life, but God was there in my heart and held my hand through everything. Sure, I went through some anger and hurt and felt God was to blame, but in my heart of hearts I knew He was my only source of refuge, and I ran into it. Some people have a story. One where they can sincerely point to a specific date of a complete heart change and the weight of sin lifted from their shoulders, and it drew them closer to the Lord. But, I, on the other hand, cannot remember such a time.
Lately, I have compared my longing for the Spirit's filling to that of an unsaved person's longing for freedom in Christ. Somehow it just draws you in. I began seeking and searching the Word of God and books about the Holy Spirit in search of the truth. Inwardly, I confess that I first began to seek out of reason to disprove the most popular A/G opinion and doctrine about the Spirit. But, with an open mind and no one forcing me one way, I came to pretty much the same conclusion about it as A/G has. I will not reject truth.
I have not, (like A/G likes to put it), been filled with the Holy Spirit. But, I know that I know that I know that it is drawing me. Beckoning me. Asking for full rein... But something deep inside of me stops it.
This is all for now! It's time for church!!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Twenty.One.and.One/Third.
I'm employed now. :) I'm sure it will feel a little more real when I actually receive compensation. Whew, starting a new job is really... weird. Really just updating because it's been a while since I have. I think the strangest part about this transitioning period in life, is that I truly have no idea what it is that I am transitioning into. People keep saying that I can do whatever it is that I want to do. That's great, but what on earth do I want to do. What does GOD want me to do? I truly don't want to get caught in that "Only-this-many-more-weeks-til-the-next-thing" mentality. It makes life go by too quickly.
I know my God is faithful, and I know more than anything that He has a plan for my life. He knows exactly where I am and He sees my entire future. I just need to trust in Him. To believe that He will make a way. And stand firm that I am where I am supposed to be because God has brought me here. Trust my family, mentors, and friends. And OBEY God no matter the cost.
Jeremiah 29:13 (The Message) "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." -God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you."
Good stuff....
I know my God is faithful, and I know more than anything that He has a plan for my life. He knows exactly where I am and He sees my entire future. I just need to trust in Him. To believe that He will make a way. And stand firm that I am where I am supposed to be because God has brought me here. Trust my family, mentors, and friends. And OBEY God no matter the cost.
Jeremiah 29:13 (The Message) "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." -God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you."
Good stuff....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)