Oh Hello! :)
I just completed 2 of my 5 finals and I did 1 last night, and 1 a few weeks ago, so ya know what that means?? I only have ONE left! Oh what a relief. It's tomorrow morning at 10:30 am. And then I get to go home! Yay!
I'm SO excited about what God is doing in my life. I'm taking the rest of the day to reflect on His mercy and goodness. Not a single person can understand what it feels like to be forgiven until you go through sinning for so long and then realize what a stronghold Satan has on your life and choose to ask for forgiveness. The thing that kept me from asking for forgiveness for so long was thinking that I had messed up too bad to really receive forgiveness. I thought that God wouldn't forgive me, plain, pure, and simple. However, I have learned through the people God has placed in my life and from reading His word that He is faithful and just to forgive us if we ask and show genuine concern in returning to His arms.
6 days ago, as I was studying for a test, I had my praise and worship music playing in the background. It was low and just there for the peacefulness. When suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the Holy Spirit. I knew God was in the midst of me and I felt like crying crying crying. It had been almost a year since really basking in His presence. (When living in Sin, you can't experience all of Him.) I was actually scared at first because I didn't know why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Basically, it was because I was 'sitting' on Holy Ground. He was in my dorm room amidst the noise my roommate was creating and amidst the English papers strung around me. So, I decided to stop and listen to what God had to tell me.
And this is what He had to say:
(I'm gonna paraphrase)
"Kayla, I have something for you to do. I'm calling you to prayer. I am coming soon, and I want my people to be prayed up and ready. I wish for you to begin a prayer/worship night at FGBC. I want you to facilitate it and I want it to be a night dedicated to those who want to hear from Me. I will work things out in your favor. Just do what I say."
My reply:
"Oh Lord, FGBC? I can't go back there. I've been hurt. The people judge me. I feel out of place. I love my new church with all my heart. I'm learning there. If I start a prayer service, won't I have to attend there regularly? I have hard feelings toward members of that church. I'm working on those, but some are still there. I'm not in a position to do this, Lord."
God:
" Kayla, didn't I tell you I would work it out in your favor. Do these on Saturday nights at 7 o'clock. Even if there isn't a big crowd, I will move. Continue to seek My face on the matter. I will guide you. I will make your pastor approachable and will be working in His heart. Do not be anxious or afraid because I will give you the words to say. Test everything Kayla. Love with all your heart. I will be made perfect in you."
Yea, intense right? I argued and argued but still God won! ;) That's alright though. So, for the past week or so, I've been praying and praying and praying about this. I want to do the will of God so much. I definitely do not want to ignore Him in this issue. There are so many more specifics but for the sake of certain people, I'll keep them to myself. Not bad, just not necessary knowledge for all.
I know I probably don't have any readers, but it feels good to just type up what is going on in my life.
I love God, with all my heart. And I want to give Him more of me and more of me every single day I awake breathing.
I got a good email from my friend, and it read, "Live your life in such a way, that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no...she's awake!"
:) Have a good one.
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