Opportunities

There were so many opportunities set before me that I got to think about while being away this summer. Leadership opportunities at Realife, a sizable clientel of people to babysit for, a job at a reputable Christian book store, working with administration of JamesRiver, and others. I told just about all of them that I was going to have to pray about all of these. Obviously, with school, I can't do all of them. It would be a lot of haphazardness going on because I wouldn't be able to fully dedicate to any one of them. So, I prayed and sought God most earnestly regarding one particular opportunity. One that would be fun, challenging, growing, and it would add a bit to my schedule.

Toward the end of the trip, I was becoming a tad concerned with the fact that I hadn't really heard from God regarding this opportunity. So, I sat down on my bed with my Bible, prayed, and began to read. As I read, I begged God to work on my heart, and help me solve my dilemma. Before I even left for the trip, I was feeling a bit hesitant about the opportunity. But, it deserved a ton of prayer before making any decisions. And, to be quite honest, I still haven't made a decision. But I read this:

"Everything is permissible"- but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"- but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

1 Corinthians 10:23-24

Now, for you theologians, I understand this doesn't exactly fit in the correct context of what I am dealing with, but at the same time it kinda does. Like, this opportunity doesn't lay an obvious disclaimer such as "Sin or not sin" because then it would be easy to choose what to do. This verse helped clarify a few thoughts. 1. It IS a permissible thing. 2. It may/may not be beneficial to them/me. 3. I truly do want to seek what is best for them.

Join me in praying regarding this.

Second thing of the day, I can't help but continue to think about Carmen. The lady I wrote about a bit ago while I was in El Salvador. God only knows how much I want to go back there. And, if I allow myself to really dwell and think about it, I grow so sad. I kind of feel like I abandoned them. There's so much more I would want to do with the people we worked with. I want to pray for them. Like physically lay hands on them, and cry out to God pleading their case. I pray for them throughout the day while I'm here, but it just isn't the same. I'm not sure why Carmen continues to come to my mind, but so many lessons were learned by her example.

Here are a few thoughts that come to mind when I hear the name Carmen:
1. selfless

2. in pain

3. uninformed about medication she is on

4. worth far more than rubies

5. so alive

I could go on, but I won't. She is still so fresh and vivid in my memory even though it has been over two weeks since meeting her. Will the people who read this please say a prayer for her. That her body would be healed and strengthened as she strives to care for her 50+ year old son. That as the seasons begin to change in El Salvador, she would be taken care of. That someone knowledgeable would take control of the medication issue.

Here's a photo of this Carmen. My sister in Jesus. I can't ask you enough. Please pray for her and her son.

When I look at this picture, all those opportunities I'm in the process of having to sort through...they don't matter. I don't want any of them. I just want to be with her and her people. I know that isn't reality, and I will face the things that await me here...

...i really don't want to, though.