"Exactly where is my...

...money?" It's something I've been asking SBU for several weeks now. Then, I find out yesterday that the reason I don't have it is all my fault anyway. I hadn't signed the promissory note. But, I thought I had... oh it's not really worth rehashing. Long story, and boring. :-)

Well, anyway, I've been living on next to nothing since returning from El Salvador the last day in July. I literally have not had cash in my wallet since then. My family has been so generous in loaning me money, but it's been in small amounts at a time, and gas is well...expensive. That, and I am not always the greatest at budgeting. Although, that is so going to change. I have a lot to return to my family, and a few other things to financially take care of. . . and then, maybe I will be able to focus on something else.

The reason for writing this blog is about to make itself known.

Today, I went to pick up a check that SBU wrote out as a cash advance type thing. They know my money is coming, so they are just helping me out a bit. So I drove up to Bolivar knowing that the check would be ready for me after 1:30pm. I got there a tad early, so I just hung out listening to music in my car. Thinking. . . Around that time, I went to get my money. :) After receiving my check with no problem, I went to my car and almost screamed out loud in excitement! As I was unlocking my car, God pierced my spirit and immediately I heard Him speak, Do you trust in this to take care of you? Do you find it alarming that you put so much faith into a material thing? I immediately reevaluated my response to receiving the money in such a relieving-type way. Because, I realized that I was doing exactly what I had never wanted to do again. This being, putting joy and less stress in the fact that I had money. Not that money isn't necessary to live on, and not that God doesn't bless us with it. But, I literally acquainted how safe I felt with how much money I had. Which is so wrong. God has gone before me and been my rear guard my entire life, and I have not felt it moreso than these past few months.

Anyway, to some, it might seem a little crazy that I place so much importance on this. But, what is most important is that it was spoken to me. Not everyone will God deal with the same. For me, it was to make sure I wasn't placing so much trust in such a material, unreliable item. Never have I been more ready and willing to do some serious life changing things. Budgeting, here I come!