chronic indecisiveness

Moving. Time. Again.

This time, I've stretched my 6 month record to 12 months. That's fairly decent, right? That is a 100% improvement.

This time, I desperately want to live alone. To have my own space in which I can do whatever I want to do in it. It's not that I hate roommates as people. It's that I hate having a roommate. I hate sharing space. I hate whatever their underlying expectations of me are. I want to be my own person. If I want to walk in my front door and throw my purse down on the table and kick my shoes off in the living room and occasionally walk around in my bra and underwear (you wanna do it, too...), then THAT is what I want to do.

This time, budgeting blows. I hate being on a budget. I admit I have been less than frugal with most of my money earned after graduating two years ago. And, after recently accepting a new position with less hours, my income will decrease approximately $600-ish/month. Ugh... Live alone=BROKE. Live with friend=less broke. I hate money.

This time, (again), I'm left with freaking decisions. I hate making decisions about my own life. I make decisions ALL day long at my job literally dealing with LIFE vs DEATH for people, but when it comes to moving out alone, I cannot decide. A chronic indecisiveness. Adulthood can SUCK sometimes.

This time, (again), in my indecisiveness and consistent need for affirmation, I feel compelled to ask you to weigh in on this situation. Because over the last 48 hours, I have made the decision to put down a downpayment on a studio apartment, only to turn around 1.5 hours later and tell my friend I would live with her (only later to find out about a 12 month contract...errrr...). And, here I am 13 days from needing to be moved, without a direction to go.

Help...anyone? :)