metamorphosis

Not going to church today.

Earlier years of childhood, my family was in church more than the Pastor. Sunday morning, Sunday night, Tuesday for praise and worship practice, Wednesday for church, Thursday or Friday for events or Bible studies. I enjoyed it. I felt as comfortable in the church as I did in my bedroom. Just another place of home for me.

Things grew tougher for our family unit as we grew older; church less frequently. Entering my first semester of college, I still felt guilty every Sunday when I chose sleep and rest over gathering with "His people."After six months of relaxation, I eased back into the church thing. Slowly, but surely, built another church family at James River Assembly. Re-engaged. Re-immersed in the culture of the church. A culture I owned. A culture I was a part of.

That girl I am not; any longer. Nothing changes that. A sort of metamorphosis has occurred. (metamorphosis: a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means.) My soul has taken new form. My wants are in different shape. Who I was and what I stood for is in the past. However, there are days my heart seems to struggle with accepting this truth.

Missionary is no longer at the forefront of my mind when making decisions. Jesus is no longer at the forefront of my heart when making choices. But because that was where my identity lay, there is this uncertainty as to where it lay now.

Caterpillars must feel similar. Somewhat ugly creatures by nature. Larvae. After shedding layers five times, they begin metamorphosis. When this time comes, they find an isolated place, and spin a silk cocoon. To protect them from potential predators. When their time of pupate is over, they cut their way through the silk cocoon and embrace life as a different being; a moth or butterfly.

Can you place yourself on the timeline of metamorphosis?
Do you find yourself shedding, pupating, or cutting out?
Where does your identity lay?