Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Wait, what did you just say?

So, normally I wouldn't do this. But, for some reason, I feel the urge to write all about this. In May of 2007, I found out that my just-turned-16-year-old sister was pregnant. It wasn't quite a shock, (not meaning that badly at all), but I knew what was going on. It was quite the ordeal, but I love my nephew very much. I went through the whole, "My sister is having a baby before me," type deal. It was tough, but it was obviously not undefeatable (the feeling that is..). And obviously, the baby wasn't going anywhere. But, through it all, the family stayed alive and in one piece. And, we all love Shelby and baby Jalen very very much.

Tonight... 2 years later, I get more shocking news. I'm going to have a niece. No, Shelby isn't pregnant again, but she's getting MARRIED. The man she is getting married to has a daughter. He's a great guy. Truly is. But, I'm just dumbfounded.

And, I feel kind of selfish right now. I mean, I know that life is life, and I have to deal with whatever comes with it. And, not only deal with it, but deal with it well... My own thoughts right now are selfish. I admit it. You don't have to call me out on it, and please don't judge me or tell me how bad of a person I am for feeling this way. You'd probably feel like it too.

This is supposed to happen to me first.

I am the oldest child, grandchild, sister, and niece. Why don't I get to experience all of this first? I wanted to get married, live a little life together, have the first baby for everyone to melt over and whatnot, and then watch my sisters follow suit. I know plenty of you, (especially family), are probably furious over my feelings, but instead of bringing them up in 3 months verbally, I felt writing them would be better. And, if you don't know about the engagement, I'm not the one who told you. Clear? Good.

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