Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I think I can, I think I can...

Hello lovely wonderful people,
In one way or another you have all played a part in getting me to where I am. So, if you're reading this blog for the first time...It's true, you too, are a reason for my life of declared service. FYI: I'm thinking at this moment, How on earth did I get here? And I do NOT have the answer for that. God's grace is just astounding. His mercy is surely true every day.

Confession time:
I seriously am such a doubter. I've been dwelling on the hows and whens for this upcoming mission trip. I mean, I was so certain that this is what the Lord had laid before me. Things were working out so quickly, and I feel such peace about it. God has opened the right doors and shut ones not meant to open. But, what if... Bah! And, I'm freaking out a little bit about this recent decision to move in with some amazing people. I mean, what if I don't have my own space? What if I am cramped? (I know, some of you are thinking, 'so what?') I mean, there wasn't any doubt in my mind at first about the decision I was making. God had opened the door, and I had prayed for months and felt God leading me to accept the offer. I'm just SO afraid of change. So, how on earth am i going to make it in the MISSION field? (I'm tearing as I type, this is just so overwhelming). I know that I need to be prepared for change my entire life.

Number 1, being a nurse and dealing with change is simply inevitable.
Number 2, being a missionary and dealing with change is simply inevitable.

Not that I'm spazzing out and like quitting or anything. Because I am never a quitter. But, does anyone see how this could be "hair-pulling stressful"? I am going to dive into the word and read about God's promises for the obedient. I need to focus on Paul, because he was one of the ultimate missionaries of his day. ;-) If anyone has any scripture that would be encouraging, or just some encouraging words/prayers, I wouldn't be opposed to hearing them AT ALL!

love you.

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