to be changed

it is becoming increasingly apparent that some of my core friendships are going through a season. a season of absence. a season of distance. a season of resistance. while other friendships are growing and being strengthened, the ones that used to matter the most seem to be rapidly unraveling.

and i'm somewhere in the middle. should there be great effort poured out to save the ones that are diminishing? or should focus be placed on the ones developing. this choice seems a necessary one to make, because there is not heart strength for doing both.

the truth is, that not only are my friendships in a different season, I am a person being changed by my own season. those that know me best probably feel that they don't know me at all anymore. and that is okay. but for me, I want friends that are willing to walk through "the changing" with me. isn't that what you would want?

though I am uncertain as to how this season will end or lead into another, I am confident it will. winter always ends up succumbing to spring. spring to summer, summer to fall. it all ends and begins again. to me, it is a beautiful thing. to be changed by the circumstances around you. leaves change colors and flowers bloom and the sun shines and the rain falls. all altering it's environment. leaving some things weathered, other things refreshed.

to resist a season is impossible. you ride a season out. you lean into it. you glean from it. you learn the wind patterns and how to smell the rain.

and you come out dead or alive. and i have determination; to come out alive, with or without you. and I am challenged to choose peace regardless of your choice.