i used to love the things of God. breathe, sleep, cry, sing, scream Him. but anymore, hearing about Him makes me want to punch my damn fist through a wall. who the hell is He? who is He to ME? i believe Him for you, and i see Him in them, but who is He to me?
i used to love God because He loved me first. now i tolerate Him because i fear hell. but that doesn't save me. a mere belief in His existence doesn't save me from eternal damnation. and what it takes to save me, i can't give Him. He wants control of who i am. and i'll probably fight that to the death.
so with that realization, where does that exactly leave me? hell-bound...maybe? i don't know.
i almost feel like i owe you an apology, because i realize the life i've been living is not a reflection of what i am at the core (apparently).
He's not my everything. and i'm not sure i can ever make Him that.
sorry, God.
1 comment:
First of all I don't tell people what to do but I don't think you should apologize for something you feel. I personally don't believe in hell nor that we can be separated from gods love. I believe god is love and love holds no record of wronge. Since I became a dad I have my view of god have changed. There is nothing that my kids could do to ever make me love them less much less eternally torment them for. So Is my love greater than gods? I believe that god is bigger than we think even bigger mans interpretation of him in the bible. Doing away with religion or who you were taught he is doesn't mean we have to do away with god . I've just done away with what I was taught about who god is. In the end it's not up to us it's up to him. 1 John 4:10 says Here in is love, not that we first loved him, but that he first loved us... Romans 8:38 say nothing can separate us from gods love... "nothing" So be who you want to be . But be happy every good father wants the children to just be happy!
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